JUST LOVE

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JUST LOVE

And in the end,

All there really is

Is love.

Nothing less

Nothing more

Nothing after

And nothing before.

 

We sisters are only two

There were none before us

And none after.

Together we fought

Tooth and nail

Through the abuse

And the confusion

For utter survival.

It was never easy

Getting through

The years of our life

In putrid dysfunction

That rendered us nearly

The same as the situation.

 

But having each other

Is always, always, always

What got us through.

We clung to the hearts

That beat in our chests

To remind us we were okay

And to tell each other

We were more than our misery.

 

I couldn’t be sadder today

It would not be possible

Having spent the day,

In a hospital with my sister.

My only.

My dearest.

My red-headed.

My ever so kind.

My caring and wise.

My friend to all,

Forever sister.

Yes, THAT one

Was given bad news

On top of more bad news

Over and over

All day long

Heaped on

Like wet cement.

The cancer

Oh the fuckin’ cancer

The bane of our existence

That goddamned cancer

Is winning despite it all!

The alternative and the not,

The prayers and the hopes,

The denial that trumped all!

It spread like hell anyway.

A breast wasn’t enough

It took over her bones

And every single bone

Including one replaced by titanium

Yet still not satisfactory,

To fill this beast.

So now it moved into

Her epicenter

The place that rules

And runs her mind

And her being.

The leech wants it all

So it moved on smearing

The entire lining of her brain

Yes the sonuvabitch

Is determined to kill her.

And if you think gun control

Would cut down loss of lives

This satanic monster

Leaves the guns in the dust.

 

She left no stone unturned

The juices

The Coffee enemas

The vitamins

The heat

The crystals

The teas

The needles

The massages

The organics

The beliefs

Even downright

Fresh red blood.

Her sweet, sweet heart

That makes everyone

Who knows her,

Love her.

The caring so deeply

For her daughters

And being a listening ear

For her only sister, me!

 

You see, we two

Know things that no one else does

We share the secrets of over 60 years,

Yes we do.

There will never be any way

I can share it with you,

Because frankly

“you had to be there”

and you weren’t,

but we were!

 

Tonight, still laying

In the hospital bed

She says she is crying

From kindness

And that she can

Really feel her heart

Filling up with love.

There is no limit

On what all this love

Wants to do for her

To give her the most cherished

Days of all.

 

Go ahead now

You scourge

Of the last two centuries

Cut away a good half of me

And steal my beloved sister

Who just wanted

To walk her daughters

Down the aisle

But ran out of time.

See how well I stand up

Without a whole half missing

And my heart that is already

Broken in a million pieces

Gets ground up even more.

Ashes to ashes

Dust to dust.

 

She says she isn’t

Ready or able to leave us

But hey dammit

I am not ready

And frankly unable

To leave her.

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2 comments

  1. Carroll Beckham · January 12

    Oh Ann, I am so, so sorry. Your words are beautiful as always and my heart breaks with yours as I read them.

  2. Donna Gilbert · January 12

    Holding you and your dear sister in my heart and my thoughts. (((Hugs)))

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